College or what?

One of the main reasons I haven't furthered my education by going to college is that nobody will talk to me about college. Am I the only person who wants a heads-up about a commitment like this? I've asked friends who have attended college, and the usual answer is along the lines of "oh, just go and take some classes, you'll like it" or "Just fill out a FAFSA" or "Go talk to a counselor".
Now, I can describe, in gory detail, some of the sexual experiences of some of my friends. I can tell you long, boring stories about their children. I can tell you about the last time they got drunk AND what they did that makes them never want to get drunk again. NOBODY will tell me about college!
What, do they make you swear an oath of silence? It is so frustrating, especially when a degree, or a certificate, or whatever, don't really get you a job, they just seem to put you into a "club" where other members are more likely to hire you. I've heard of people with degrees in "Political Science" working in fields which do not apply at all to politics of science. But, because of their "degree", they are accepted into their fields, while I don't bear the "mark" of a degree, despite my qualifications.

So, if you know me, and know how I am, and care about me, you should take some time and come talk to me about college. I mean, not about your "good times", I mean about how college works and how I can make it work for me.

Thanks. Or screw you, whichever applies.