Wonder Boy

I don't have any bruises on my face, no broken bones, no fat lips. It seems strange that a man of my physical stature and personality could be a "victim" of abuse, especially considering the fact that the abuser is a lady of average height and build and speaks with a refinement that comes from a "proper" up-bringing. And yet, that's how it was. I had to leave because, for the first time in my life, I wanted to die. I will never let myself be in that position again; not emotionally, not spiritually, not until my Creator calls me Home.

I am blessed to have a family that loves and supports me. That's what puts me here, far away from the city, out in the middle of nowhere. We spent the afternoon packing my worldly possessions, packing them into a trailer, and driving east for four hours.

As I was attempting to open the back-end of the trailer (the back door drops down to form a ramp up into the trailer) I looked up and stood, stunned at what I saw. Stars. So many stars. There are no city lights in central Wisconsin. Just stars. The night was clear; not a cloud in the sky. Frigid cold, the kind of cold that clears the air so much that the stars are that much brighter, that much more defined. I forgot they were there. I forgot that we live on a tiny little planet in an infinite universe that just keeps expanding. For the first time in years, I stood, slack-jawed with my hands at my sides, just staring into the sky as though it was the first time. It felt good. It felt better than good.

Now my stuff lies scattered in boxes, bags, trash cans, and hampers throughout my sister's basement. My life has no direction; I have no responsibilities or ambition. I am free. I am reborn. Hope springs in a life that just two days ago was almost cut short by my own hand. Thank God for this Grace He has shown me.

I'll never forget those stars again. I am excited to re-discover what else I forgot. Life can be good again, I now realize. I am so blessed.